Jokes thread

* 3 guys are on a plane, a school boy, his friend and a Professor.
* Suddenly the plane gets into turbulences and the Professor jumps off his seat.
Professor: There's only one parachute! And i'm the most clever guy in the world!
* He grabs the parachute and runs to the door, opens it and jumps.
Friend: Hey.. The most clever man in the world just took my school bag...

Okay so there are three guys, they all seperate and say to meet back in an hour.

An hour later they all meet up.
The first guy says "I got a blowjob for 25 cents!"
The second guy says "Well I got a really good blowjob for 50 cents!"
The third guy says "Hey guys I just made 75 cents!"

A child comes home from school to his mother and father, he has just received his report card. He goes up to his mom, and says “Mom I got an A+ in science, but i had sex with my teacher.” His mom Screams at him to go tell his father. He goes up to his father and says exactly what he told his mother, his dad says “Your finally a man son! now we can drink beers, go do man things, and i can finally get you that bike you wanted!” The son looks at his dad and says “but dad, my butt hurts.”

xD
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Three kids are caught swimming in the pond, on the school grounds by a teacher.
they all sit around in the Principals office and he Asks the first:

Teacher: What were you doing in the pond?
1st Student: Uhm, Blowing Bubbles?

The teacher turns to the second student and said:

Teacher: What were you doing in the pond?
2nd Student: Uhm, Blowing Bubbles?

The teacher then looks to the third student and says:

Teacher: Let me guess, you were blowing bubbles?
3rd Student: No, i AM Bubbles..

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xD, nice jokes guys, keep them coming.